The overwhelming joy of returning to Japan…
I’ve visited Tokyo’s Skytree before, I’ve visited the Eiffel Tower in Paris but never Tokyo Tower. It’s the less spectacular, but much more loved option. The former engineer in me, forever wowed by the sheer engineering brilliance on display – steel and rivets combined to make architectural wonder. Tokyo Tower is beautiful.
What I wasn’t really expecting was the feeling that came over me as I stepped out onto the viewing balcony. It had been nearly 12 years since my last visit to Japan, and as is common with many tourists, it left an indelible impression. I thought about Japan regularly, I devoured friend’s visits as though they were my own. I hoped and dreamed about returning. This fleeting trip – four nights in Tokyo, was the return. Giddy with excitement, it wasn’t until I stepped out onto that viewing deck, into projected sakura lighting flickering on people doing their best to look like tourists in tourist photos, that it hit me quite how much it meant to me to be back…
The sakura lighting annoyed me. The tourists taking cheesy pictures annoyed me. As I fought to get past to see the city in front of me, I choked up. It took me a solid 20mins to be able to say words out loud to my friend and explain I was quiet because of the lump in my throat…
It took me weeks to be able to articulate why. Something inside me connected with Japan when I first visited in a way that genuinely changed me. I can only liken it to the feeling I felt when I first sat at Scorching Bay in Wellington the morning I arrived in my new home after emigrating to New Zealand. On that day, I felt a sense of being ‘home’ for the first time in my life – like I was at peace there. A very, very similar feeling washed over me stepping out to look over Tokyo. I cannot claim to say Japan feels like home, though I fantasise about it daily, primarily because I cannot speak Japanese and because I don’t feel equipped well enough to understand every day Japanese living – I need to imbibe more of their culture to offer enough respect back from myself to say it feels like home. I have more learning to do to deserve to say that statement.
What I can say is stepping out to see Tokyo felt like reconnecting with an old friend who you have missed so very much. I felt seen, I felt like I was in a set of arms which I understood and who resonated in a way I deeply respect, admire and adore.
Japan, I’ve really missed you…
